Sunday, April 12, 2009

What to do with a guy who doesn't really see the need in giving flowers or cards etc?

I am dating a very sweet, respectful guy. We just celeberated our one month anniversary. B/c it%26#039;s only been one month, I decided to make him a small, home made (personalized) card, as a nice gesture for the occassion. He did not give me a card or anything but did take me out and pay for a nice dinner. I do not mind NOT getting anything from him--as he did pay for dinner and it%26#039;s only been one month. However, some of my friends are telling me that he should have given me something (i.e. a card or gift or flowers etc). I would think that for more important milestones, my guy would actually do something, therefore I do not feel the need to make a scene over a month anniversary. Any thoughts on this scenario? Are my friends being overly critical or should I say something to my guy?





P.S. I already asked this question before, but am looking for more opinions.

What to do with a guy who doesn%26#039;t really see the need in giving flowers or cards etc?
it sounds like we are dating the same guy!!! i had the same problem at one time. my guy was really sweet but was lacking in the romance department. a lot of guys don%26#039;t realize that women truly appreciate small thoughtful gestures. i talked to my guy and told him that while i do appreciate the things he does for me (buying me dinner, taking me out on the town,e tc) i would like for him to do smaller things to let me know he%26#039;s care. since that convo, he has really stepped up to the plate! so, if this situation bothers you, talk to your guy. if not, forget what your friends say.





also, stop telling your friends about everything that happens between you and your man. sometimes, they will not always steer you in the right direction.
Reply:My opinion is that you must be about 14 years old to celebrate a 1 month anniversary and worry about what your friends say.
Reply:He did get you something a full tummy. Guys don%26#039;t get all involved in anniversaries. I do think your friends are over reacting I mean it%26#039;s a month for crying out loud.
Reply:really would not read too much into this. he probably feels that a card which will eventually be discarded and flowers will eventually die is just ironic. and feels that it would e ebtter actually doing soemthing with you too create memories of you and him together.


dont worry it is a good thing. he is just more of the do stuff with than do stuff for u type of guy which is good.
Reply:Well, as a guy, I don%26#039;t understand this thing about one month anniversaries. I mean, I can understand a year, but monthly anniversaries are just too much. It just feels like saying %26quot;Phew, we made it to a month%26quot;.





I%26#039;d do something amazingly nice for her, on the first anniversary, and in the meantime give her flowers, and random cards to know that she%26#039;s on my thoughts.





Now that said, maybe he is a different kinda guy. There are many variations of us, actually :) So, talk to him... casually bring up the conversation of anniversaries and ask him how you should plan to celebrate your anniversary. It will give you the chance to open up and discuss more on whats going on inside...





This is nothing critical at all. Don%26#039;t scare the poor guy away :)
Reply:no, u should not say anything. ur friends r being overcritical. it is a 1 month aniversary, hes not proposing and ur not married. As u said he bought u a nice dinner and u were happy. So leave it at that! Do not take all ur relationship advice from ur friends. You have to follow YOUR heart and YOUR head or else u will fail.
Reply:Send yourself flowers and then tell him %26quot;thank you so much for the flowers you sent me! The card said anonymous - but I know it just HAD to be you! You are the sweetest man alive!!!%26quot; Maybe he%26#039;ll get the idea and be a little jealous at the same time!!
Reply:your Friends are too critical .. romance is not doing the sweet things on %26quot;critical times%26quot; but saying how beautiful he finds you every day and things along those lines, how long you have been together should not be as important as how much you care for one another
Reply:It%26#039;s not the object he gives you but the time and love. What are flowers something to waste money on there going to die with time you want something that is going to last with the relationship. What do people do with store bought cards they thow them in a corner to never be seen again a waste of money. Moneys not what a relationship is built on, IT%26#039;S LOVE!!!!. So in the end a homemade gift comes from the heart it%26#039;s true love. Just be happy he%26#039;s showning he loves you!!!!!!!!
Reply:If you don%26#039;t say anything and resent him for it you will be to blame. If your feeling something tell him honesty is the best policy If he changes you will know it was for you. If he does not you will know how things will be if you pursue this relationship with him. you cant make him change only ask. better to know what your in for that%26#039;s why you are dating in the first place.


p.s. friends always seem to look for drama.
Reply:Well, I think there should be bigger milestones. One month isn%26#039;t a big deal. On your one year anniversary, there should be tokens of affection. But, just a warning, to have expected tokens on milestones really isn%26#039;t spontaneous. I%26#039;ve been married fifteen years, and it really is the %26quot;just because%26quot; flowers and tokens that still make my heart go pitter patter.
Reply:Find 1 who does



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